About Us

Welcome to the New Concordia Times, the most trusted news source in New Concordia according to several people we cornered outside a liquor store.

We cover the stories that matter: crime, corruption, money, murder, neighborhood drama, suspicious fires, sudden disappearances, questionable business opportunities, public officials behaving badly, and whatever the hell happened on the South Side last night.

New Concordia is a beautiful city.

You just have to know which blocks to avoid.

The New Concordia Times was founded on a simple principle: the people of this city deserve to know what is happening around them, preferably before it happens directly to them.

Other newspapers worry about awards.

We worry about whether the eyewitness is still alive by publication.

Our reporters follow the blood trails, police sirens, rumors, court filings and extremely confident statements from people who definitely do not want their names printed. We ask the hard questions other publications are afraid to ask, including:

• Who got shot?
• Who shot them?
• Why was there $80,000 in the trunk?
• Why does the mayor keep pretending he doesn’t know that man?

And, most importantly:

• Should you take another way home tonight?

News for People Who Live Here

New Concordia has everything a great American city needs: ambitious entrepreneurs, hardworking families, beautiful neighborhoods, thriving nightlife, organized crime, disorganized crime and elected officials who would appreciate it if you stopped asking so many questions.

We cover all of it.

Our newsroom reports on breaking news, local crime, business, politics, neighborhood disputes, strange events and the kind of stories that begin with police saying there is “no danger to the public” despite three helicopters circling overhead.

We also publish opinion, investigations, community commentary and advice from Auntie Felony, who has spent enough time around bad decisions to recognize one before you make it.

Our Editorial Standards

We take journalism seriously.

Facts are checked whenever possible.

Rumors are clearly identified as rumors unless everybody in town already knows they’re true.

Anonymous sources are protected.

Witnesses are quoted accurately, including the parts where they say, “I ain’t see nothing.”

Corrections are published when necessary.

Threats against the newspaper should be directed to management.

Management works remotely.

Our Mission

The mission of the New Concordia Times is simple:

• Tell the people what happened.
• Tell them who probably did it.
• Tell them who is pretending they didn’t.

And get the story online before somebody changes their statement.